Infertility can contribute to emotional distress. The medical criteria for infertility are a year of regular, unprotected heterosexual intercourse without conception. This definition assumes a heterosexual couple with a desire for a child; yet half of those meeting criteria are not trying to conceive, and people can self-identify as having a fertility problem but not meet criteria, and many who meet criteria do not self-identify. The assumption that couples have infertility is also tricky – in about 30% of couples the cause is from combined male and female factors, but for 50% of infertility cases the cause is female and for 20% male factors. The social construction of infertility suggests that self-identifying may be more relevant for distress than meeting medical criteria. Infertility can be associated with elevated depressive symptoms, but most studies focus on women, therefore it is unclear if both partners experience higher distress even if only one partner self-identifies. We use a U.S. nationally representative sample of 926 heterosexual couples (women ages 25-45) (National Survey of Fertility Barriers) to assess if those who self-identify have higher distress than those who do not, if both partners experience elevated distress even if only one partner self-identifies, and if women or men who self-identify experience higher distress. Most couples do not have a partner who self-identifies (58%); of those who do, 71% women only, 9% men only, and 19% both partners self-identify. Adjusted for cohabiting, age, parental status, relationship length, education, race/ethnicity, religiosity, social support, importance of parenthood, and medical contact, those who self-identify have significantly higher distress than those who do not, and partners who do not self-identify do not have higher distress. Women have higher distress than men in couples in which both identify, men have higher distress than women in couples in which only one partner identifies.